For What It's Worth

The Happiness Gap in a Hyper‑Connected World

We have never been more connected — or more restless. Our screens link us instantly to friends, strangers, news, and opportunity, yet many of us feel a persistent sense that something is missing. We collect degrees, build careers, accumulate followers, and chase milestones that once promised fulfillment, only to discover that achievement does not automatically translate into contentment.

In a culture that measures success externally, it may be time to reconsider what it actually means to live well — and whether the ancient wisdom of Stoicism offers a better answer than the endless pursuit of “more.”

According to a recent survey, the average American spends six hours a day on news and social media sites. We check our phones about every five minutes, live in homes with around 17 internet-connected devices, and more Americans have a Facebook account than a primary physician.

One reason for all that time spent online? American’s have more leisure time today than any other previous generation. All that downtime but we’re still filled with anxiety, unhappiness, and now …boredom?

Even though we’re more digitally connected than ever, nearly 40% of Americans say they’re bored with life. It’s even worse for younger generations: 67% of Millennials feel this way, and Gen Z is being referred to as “the bored generation.”

What is going on?

Degrees, Debt, and the Promise of a Better Life

While writing the series on the crisis in American education, I came across an article in the Times Higher Education. The article, written by Patrick Jack, noted a recent study conducted in 36 countries measuring “happiness” in college graduates.

Research consistently shows that higher education leads to better economic outcomes than having no degree, and this study supports that finding. College graduates generally earn more and report greater happiness. However, their level of life satisfaction depends on context: graduates living in places with strong cultural, social, and economic development report higher happiness than those in countries that lack these conditions.

The study also found that earning a degree can increase income but does not guarantee contentment, happiness, or success. People with and without formal education report similar happiness when their country’s economic future looks promising.

If you are lucky enough to live in a country with a strong economy you have a better chance of feeling better about your prospects. Reverse that and happiness eludes everyone including college graduates.

This is interesting on a couple of levels.

First, as an educator who has taught and recruited students, I often highlighted graduates’ earning power. Before the 1980s, conventional wisdom held that success in life required finishing high school, with happiness seen as the natural result of a job well done. For many, earning that degree was a monumental task.

Today, the idea that graduating high school will guarantee success and bring happiness seems silly. Since the 80s, success has shifted to earning at least a college degree—high school diplomas alone don’t cut it anymore for most careers.

Second, as a student of theology and philosophy, anything that promises happiness grabs my attention. A study on education and human happiness together is a social laboratory I’m eager to wade into.

What Does It Mean To Be Happy?

Over the centuries, philosophers, theologians, and psychologists have defined happiness, each focusing on their specific study. For this study we’ll simply define happiness as a psychological state of well-being. More than just a positive attitude, it encompasses feelings of joy and satisfaction among other things.

Some of the factors influencing happiness include genetics, circumstances, achievements, and social relationships, attitudes and feelings. Research suggests that much of our happiness is under personal jurisdiction.¹ According to Harvard Health Publishing, while 50% of people’s general level of happiness is determined by genetics, 40% of it is under people’s control. The remaining 10% depends on the circumstances.

Scott Galloway, a NYU professor and best‑selling author, has a lot to say about social and economic happiness. In The Algebra of Wealth, he argues that despite record U.S. economic growth, young people struggle to reach their parents’ standard of living and are less happy as a result—especially young men who are still living with their parents well into their twenties and thirties.

“In 2023, 18% of adults ages 25 to 34 were living in a parent’s home. And young men were more likely than young women to live at home (20% vs. 15%).”

– Pew Research Center, April 2025

Women are also exceeding men in finishing their four-year degrees. Today, 47% of U.S. women ages 25 to 34 have a bachelor’s degree, compared with only 37% of men.

Consequently, some men feel threatened. The podcast‑bro universe is crowded with young men venting resentment toward women, and their immature outrage is palpable.

What enables women to stick with their studies and finish? As Galloway notes, it’s not the thought that counts but a stronger sense of accomplishment—they start and actually do the work required to finish.

“Economic security doesn’t come from ideas; it comes from consistent behavior,” Galloway writes. It’s not enough to wantsecurity—we have to do the work and align our actions with our intentions.

Redefining Success

If the metrics we’ve trusted—money, status, degrees, visibility—aren’t delivering the fulfillment we’re expecting, then perhaps it’s time to reconsider how we define success in the first place.

While happiness goes a long way for mental health and well-being, contentment just may be the superpower we’ve all been missing.

In the same study, Oishi, Diener, and Lucas found that contentment is “not the same as happiness,” but an emotion all its own. It was marked by a “sense of calmness, sufficiency, and acceptance of the present moment.” It “has its own distinct emotional profile, different from happiness, joy, and other high-arousal positive states.”

Citing studies where participants were guided to recall a contentment experience, researchers noticed that the participants demonstrated a rise in self-acceptance and well-being measures. It turns out that contentment is not a fixed emotions, can be learned, and cultivated providing a path to well being.

“There has to be something deeper that enables some people to align their behavior with their intentions,” writes Galloway. “Faced with circumstances that make most people give up or never try, what makes others seem to thrive despite difficulties?”

“We know that desire or intentions isn’t enough,” he continues. “If real change came from only intentions, we would keep our New Year’s resolutions and never forget [to write] a thank-you note.”

The actions we take, or don’t take, on the outside often effects who we are on the inside.

Galloway has long turned to the ancient Greek Stoics for answers who reduce the solution to happiness and contentment to a single word: character.

The Stoics believed that happiness and contentment, or well-being, comes from living a virtuous life—shaping who we are on the inside. Rather than chasing changes in our circumstances, our energies are spent building character. Practicing wisdom, honesty, courage, and self‑control, we develop an inner stability that circumstances cannot easily shake. For the Stoics, that was living a “successful” life.

How Stoicism Helps

What is it? We explored some of it before. For this exercise, let’s flesh it out as it pertains to developing character and behavior.

Search for famous Stoics on the internet. What pops up are the names of Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, Seneca, Zeno, Diogenes, and …Ryan Holiday.

Ryan Holiday? Who the hell is Ryan Holiday?

Ryan Holiday is a best‑selling author who has written extensively about Stoicism. At its core, Stoicism is an ancient human philosophy. Just one of the thousands created and developed over time. Like all religious and philosophical beliefs, it attempts to give meaning to the world and our personal interaction with it.

Stoicism has wide-ranging benefits. It equips us with practical tools for handling adversity while emphasizing inner stability over external circumstances. It offers clear, actionable guidance—such as focusing only on what we can control—which helps reduce anxiety and build resilience in difficult situations.

To interact with Stoicism means taking honest steps on reflecting who we are—to look honestly within. It is not about suppressing emotions or indulging in excessive self‑reflection. It is a deliberate practice that helps us understand our nature and choose better responses to what happens around us. By cultivating perseverance and resisting snap judgments, we learn to answer life’s challenges with wisdom.

“At some point in your life should you come across anything better than wisdom, justice, courage, or temperance — embrace it without reservations and enjoy it to the full — for it must be an extraordinary thing indeed.” 

–Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

I wrote about the Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius’ and his book Meditations, a collection of Stoic phrases. His mentors Rusticus, Apollonius, and Severus encouraged him to study the discipline. These “private writings” were intended to be a reminder for Aurelius …when life gets tough, remember these things.

He wrote Meditations later in life when indeed his world was becoming very difficult to live in. As emperor, wars, plagues, and betrayals swirled around him. He also had a front row seat to the start of the decline of the Roman empire. Despite being one of the most powerful men of the world, many of these circumstances were beyond his control.

“If you come across anything better than wisdom (truth), justice, courage, or temperance (self-control), –– embrace it.” In the midst of his world in decline, Aurelius reminded himself that these virtues were greater than anything else. If money, power, and fame are greater than these virtues, Aurelius said your obligation was to pursue them. He had all of that, and more. Yet, he still found these to be greater than all the power, fame, and fortune he possessed.

In the end, the happiness gap we experience in a hyper‑connected world is not solved by more degrees, more money, or more validation from others. It narrows when we redefine success as inner steadiness rather than outward status. Stoicism reminds us that while we cannot control the noise of the world — the algorithms, the comparisons, the endless striving — we can control our response to it. Contentment grows when we focus on character, discipline, and gratitude for what is already within reach. In a culture obsessed with “more,” the quiet courage to be satisfied may be the most radical achievement of all.

¹ See Oishi S, Diener E, Lucas RE. The Optimum Level of Well-Being: Can People Be Too Happy? Perspect Psychol Sci. 2007 Dec;2(4):346-60. doi: 10.1111/j.1745-6916.2007.00048.x. PMID: 26151972.