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A Stoic Perspective
(9 minute read)
Key Takeaways:
- Greatness is not about status but character. Stoicism teaches that inner virtue—not fame, power, or recognition—is what defines a meaningful life.
- Hero worship can distract from personal responsibility. Placing others on pedestals can weaken our own agency and prevent us from cultivating strength within ourselves.
- An inner locus of control creates resilience. When we ground our security in our values rather than external circumstances, we become less shaken by change or chaos.
- Meaning comes from self-mastery, not admiration. Fulfillment is found in disciplined thought and action, not in idolizing leaders, celebrities, or cultural icons.
“There are no great men. If you have a hero, look again; you have diminished yourself in some way.”
–Sheldon Kopp as quoted in Ball Four, Jim Bouton, Turner Publishing, 2014
“When someone is properly grounded in life, they shouldn’t have to look outside themselves for approval.” –Epictetus
“…meaning in life does not come from the outside; it is constructed by you as a moral agent.”
–Ryan Holiday, Daily Stoic
Bouton, Epictetus, and Holiday. A triple play. It doesn’t roll off the tongue like Tinkers to Evers to Chance, but it works for this.
Together, these quotes highlight a simple truth: even small steps toward what matters most can change everything.
They remind us that growth is rarely easy or instant, but that it is always worth the effort, the patience, and the courage it takes to keep going. We’re invited to look honestly at where we are, imagine where we want to be, and trust that the journey in between is worth it.
The Stoics Way of Life
Readers find real pleasure in returning to their favorite authors. When I become interested in a writer, I want to know about their life—what shaped them and what drives them to write. More often than not, their words are motivating, and the details of their lives are genuinely inspirational.
Epictetus was a Stoic philosopher born a few decades before the Common Era. He wasn’t a writer. In fact, he left no writings. We only know about him because of the efforts of one of his students, Arrian. Using the copious amounts of notes he amassed from observing Epictetus’ lectures he wrote volumes of material. Marcus Aurelius and Voltaire, among others, were greatly influenced by these writings.
The life of Epictetus, as outlined by his student, was fascinating and makes the quote above even more powerful in its context.
Born into slavery, he demonstrated his skill in persuasion early by convincing his owner to allow him to study philosophy. This education allowed him to increase his status in life when he eventually earned his freedom. Moving to Rome he began teaching philosophy until the Roman emperor, Domitian, banished philosophers for political dissent. From there he moved to Greece establishing a school where he taught until he died well into his 80s.
Epictetus is credited with the idea that philosophy was not simply the idea of memorizing theories. It was a practice and “way of life.”
Being born into slavery and moving up the social strata was not an easy accomplishment in the ancient world. To make matters worse, as he got older he became lame from a mysterious leg injury. One account describes the lameness due to a childhood mishap. The other claims he sustained a broken leg from his master. He never married, but adopted a child in his later years. He was one of the earliest contributors to the Stoic philosophy.
Stoicism stresses developing an “inner life” through reliance on education and personal ethics. The resulting development and use of logic helps to round out the discipline. The discipline promises a deep level of personal contentment and happiness despite the highs and lows of personal circumstances.
When we think of this, it becomes apparent how readily admiration can develop into a more potent—and potentially perilous—force. This can potentially lead to the phenomenon of hero worship as a form of cultic devotion.
The Cult of Hero Worship
Stoicism posits that despite our surrounding circumstances the only control we have in life is developing an inner calm. Each of us, they believe, has a moral responsibility to develop that life.
It is interesting to note the juxtaposition of the circumstances surrounding the life of Epictetus to his philosophy. He had no control over the circumstances in which he was born. He had little to no control over the external pressures of living in that slavery. The rigors of studying and eventually teaching philosophy challenged him to embrace his circumstances while transcending them. Being banished with his academic peers from Rome also affected him.
These experiences must have informed his philosophy on developing an inner life. They tested and validated what he believed he was constructing for himself and his pupils.
In our quest for the meaning of life there are several factors that stay constant through time. One is the inner wish to find meaning. The second are the actions we take in searching for that meaning. The third is our propensity to latch onto a group or person that provides answers to the first two.
These lyrics are from the hard rock band, Living Colour. The song sharply criticizes the idolization of a celebrity culture and delivers a scathing message for our propensity to worship heroes of any kind.
I sell the things you need to be
I’m the smiling face on your TV
Oh, I’m the cult of personalityI exploit you, still you love me
I tell you, one and one makes three
Oh, I’m the cult of personalityLike Joseph Stalin and Gandhi
I’m the cult of personality
The cult of personality
The cult of personalityNeon lights, a Nobel prize
When a leader speaks, that leader dies
You won’t have to follow me
Only you can set you freeYou gave me fortune, you gave me fame
You gave me power in your god’s name
I’m every person you need to be
Oh, I’m the cult of personalitySong Lyrics Cult of Personality – Living Colour
A “cult of personality” refers to the elevation of an individual—often a political leader, celebrity, or cultural figure. The status becomes almost mythic status and is shaped by public image, media, and the emotional investment of followers. The person becomes admired for achievements and is seen as a symbol of truth, strength, or salvation.
In that kind of atmosphere, critical thinking becomes subservient to loyalty and the individual’s identity eclipses principles or ideas. The hype shifts from substance to charisma, from what is being said to who is saying it. It creates a powerful dynamic in which image can override reason, accountability, and personal responsibility.
It is natural to appreciate the achievements of others. Recognizing efforts of an individual or an organization is important. The admonishment of Epictetus–don’t look outside of yourself for approval–aligns with the intent of Living Colour’s lyrics, even centuries later.
Stoicism does not forbid admiration. It encourages us to admire wisely. We can respect excellence in others while remembering that virtue must be cultivated within ourselves. Inspiration should strengthen our character, not replace it.
The Stoic’s Response
Saying “don’t look outside of yourself” is not a denial that we need other people. We are relational beings, and community, friendship, and love are essential to a meaningful life. The caution is not against connection, but against depending on others for our identity. When we ground our sense of worth or security entirely in other people, we hand over our well-being to forces we cannot control.
The Stoic invitation is not to withdraw from others, but to cultivate inner stability within relationship. Stoicism urges us to build a solid inner foundation so that when relationships shift—as they inevitably will—we are steadied rather than undone.
A common human trait is the desire for security. We cling to people, places, and things in search of that safety. This need is as universal and ancient as humanity itself. Yet people, places, and things are impermanent.
The people and things that surround us—family, friends, coworkers, institutions, and so on—can disappear in an instant. They often do, no matter how much we believe we can keep them close. Everything changes.
The wish for security seems deeply rooted in us. We often look for stability and reassurance, almost without thinking about it. It can become the default way we move through life, and sometimes it helps to gently step back and question it.
If we accept this basic idea, we can see that our truest source of strength is within us. It is the quiet power to become more of who we genuinely want to be. From that place, real growth becomes possible—at least for tonight, and maybe a little beyond.
Growth comes when we refuse to be paralyzed by fear or dread, no matter what happens. We can learn to use each circumstance as an opportunity to change ourselves. We can choose to respond to people, places, and situations with love and confidence.
If we place our security in the people, places, and things around us, what happens when they disappoint us? What do we do when they fail or fade away? If we allow ourselves to be devastated, then maybe we are caught up in hero worship—placing on a pedestal someone or something that was never meant to stay there forever.
The boundary between influence and dependence lies in control. If another person’s example sharpens our reason and strengthens our character, it is influence. If their actions determine our emotional stability or sense of worth, it has become dependence. Stoicism asks us to be students of excellence, not subjects of it.
Our surroundings do not define who we truly are. Our place within our families and communities does not determine who we are. While we cherish and appreciate our loved ones, they also do not decide who we are. And of course, our heroes do not shape who we really are.
We are truly brave when we are firmly grounded in life. Then we no longer depend on anything outside ourselves for validation. When we stop seeking security from external sources, we free ourselves from the need to idolize our heroes.
We must also free ourselves from our own paralyzing expectations and from the prison-like expectations of others. Only then can an inner strength and a deep love arise that allow us to truly care for everything and everyone.
Editor’s note: This essay was originally published on December 13, 2022. It has been edited and updated for clarity and continuity.
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